What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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