i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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