I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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