If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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