i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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