what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
