At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
