ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize