Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
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