he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
