he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
