I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
