Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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