she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
