yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
