good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize