i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
