Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
