If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
