i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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