I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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