I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
