ya dads aren't the best wingmen
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
