You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I wear drunk well.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
