i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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