does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
