I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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