I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
