Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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