Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Randomize
