Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
