i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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