This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
