I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I am available for nakedness
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize