Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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