If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
