Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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