If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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