Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
