Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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