I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
