and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I fill condoms, not promises.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
