I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
