i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
