doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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