im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
