her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
