Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The Olympian is in my bed
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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