how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My ATM looks so different sober.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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