I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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