My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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