She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
