Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
