So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
