He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
