How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
