It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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