so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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