I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
