Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
