i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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