Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
