maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
