Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
