Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Randomize
