That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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