Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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