Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
