absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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