Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
