Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize