If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
