bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Can I color on your dick again?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
