I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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