Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
